Why work? Con your way to success!

I usually enjoy Money's articles, if only for entertainment value, but the July 2007 issue made me want to cancel my subscription.

The article was entitled "How to Marry a Billionaire" and filled 7 full pages of absolute garbage. Apparently Money magazine, along with tips on how to diversify your portfolio, stay away from crooked financial advisers, and encouraging you to safely start your own business, feels that one honorable path to wealth is for gold digging women to marry someone for their money and leach off another person's success. I thought Money magazine was supposed to be for people who actually put effort into gaining their fortunes. The cover page exclaims "Getting Rich in America", which obviously includes becoming a lazy worthless bum.

Well, I suppose it does take effort to land a billionaire, with such helpful tips as moving closer to where billionaires live, pay for a "Be a Successful Gold Digger" seminar, and "fake" your status. That's right, the key to marrying a billionaire is to fake a personality and pretend to be something (or someone) you are not. This has "wedding bliss" just written all over it.

Thankfully there is a little survey at the end to help you if you're still wondering if you're moocher material, which asks questions like "what are your goals?" and "what's your ideal pet".

The "correct" answer to the first question? You want to strive for marriage, because "big money lies in marriage" according to divorce lawyers.

So, they key to success is thus: hang around rich people, trick them into liking you, get married, get divorced and rake in the big bucks. Thanks, Money magazine. Marlys Harris, Cosmo magazine is calling; you're the perfect writer for them.

ps: no doubt the article was written tongue-in-cheek, as was this review of it